After countless hours in PhotoShop and a fair amount on the HTML coding, I am finished with the brunt of my new page design. Thank you to for love, support, patience, and invaluable assistance; and to /, , ,and for love, respect, and inspiration… Thank you all for being my friends!

NOW GO CHECK IT OUT:

(best viewed at 800 X 600)

Also, I’d like to say

!!

I’ve been listening to this new (country) song called “The Love Song” by Jeff Bates. First time I heard it I bawled - it was so sweet.

The Love Song - Jeff Bates

First time I felt it, think I was five years old.
I was scared, had a nightmare; Momma was there for me to hold.
Daddy, he was different; he never said it much,
But I heard him loud and clear when he brought home that ball and glove.
Then it took on a brand new meaning,
I wasn’t just a boy no more, when she moved in next door.

Where you from? What’s your name?
Wanna go to my game?
Got the keys to my Dad’s old truck.
Turn the radio off to remember the song,
We held hands and there we was,
Love.

Pages kept on turnin’, there I was with someone else.
First time in my lifetime, I wasn’t livin’ for myself.
I knew I wasn’t fallin’, anywhere I’d fell before.
This place was different: it was deeper, it was more.
Then it took on a brand new meaning,
Yeah, it was strong and it was true, knew what I had to do.

Found a ring, hit my knees,
Couldn’t talk, couldn’t breathe,
My heart had me all choked up.
Said: “I do,” as we cried; wedding bells,
Waved goodbye, the whole church knew it was:
Love.

Then it took on a brand new meaning,
When the doctor said: “It’s time to watch your miracle arrive.”

Thank the Lord, cut the cord.
Take her home, help her grow.
And complete the circle of love.
Love.

That’s the circle of love.

Dear Jeff,

With all of the things that go through my head about you, I am always left with the same solitary thought, oddly enough a quote from Brad Pitt about you; “You know, I’m constantly surprised that more people don’t know about him still - and at the same time, there’s something very very beautiful about that. He tapped into something, he was the conduit. It makes me think ‘Where does art come from? Where does true genius come from?’ He’s Plant and Page in one on a technical level - it’s Mindblowing. My wife (Jennifer Anniston) has the disc and it came on one night, and I heard that opening to Mojo Pin, that haunting thing off in the distance and I remember asking ‘What is THAT?’ and she said ‘That’s Jeff Buckley.’ I thought where have I been? Do I know nothing? Since then it’s been a bit of an obsession for me. There’s an undercurrent to his music, there’s something you can’t pinpoint. Like in the best of films or the best of art there’s something going on underneath and there is a truth there and I find his stuff absolutely haunting. It’s under my skin.”

Then there are the words of critic Bill Flanagan that go “It (Sketches For My Sweetheart, the demos) was a complete album. People say oh, they’re just demos and Jeff would have done this or that with them and who knows - again, he was never satisfied - he might have thrown Grace away if he could’ve gotten away with it and started over. A lot of the people tied around Jeff tied themselves up in knots with ‘What would he have done here, what if what if what if’ and as his mom Mary (guibert) said ‘What if doesn’t matter anymore, all that matters is what IS - this is what we have.’ I think we’re really lucky to have it, I think we are lucky that he and the band worked that hard in that short a span of time. Jeff was so resistant to the whole mythology of the young modern. He was not in ANY way enamored of the romance of dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse and all of that baloney, it just was nothing to do with him. He wanted to have a lifetime career, the musicians he looked to were guys in their 50’s and 60’s and that’s what he aspired to be. That’s one of the ironies of what happened, he was a lifer! He was in it for the long haul! And not just music, he was in the whole show for the long haul. He would’ve made a great cranky old man. I hope people appreciate the music because it’s not as much as we deserved, but it’s more than we had any right to expect.”

In an interview with him during the writing for what would have been “My Sweetheart The Drunk” he was asked “How would you want to be remembered?” Jeff replied ” As a good friend. You know, I don’t really need to be remembered. I hope the music is remembered.”

I have spent the first half of this day remembering and honoring you for everything you have given me, wanting to celebrate it as I cherish it and longing to not feel embittered and angered and cheated by your impulsiveness, but I can’t. Being impulsive was in part your magic and why you were my friend, but all the same I would rather you were here. I know you never meant for any of this to happen, but it happened all the same.

And I would give anything if it hadn’t.

Feel free to use this in any way you wish, as a background, or whatever. You have my permission.

I have been working my ass off on these graphics for the pending release of Digital Design v2.0, so I have decided to post them and let everyone see the direction I’m taking. So far there are a total of 5 individual pages:

I’m considering embedding my journal, but might just link back to it - haven’t decided that yet. I also made a graphic called Light Burst, but I have no idea yet if it will even get used in the final design.

Ta daaaaaa!

We (Damien, Maggie, Nathan, Cole Avery, & myself) were walking around the jogging track at Hamilton Station by the back pool. We took bread to feed the ducks, fish, and turtles. There were about 15 people in the pool area, half kids and half adults. We stopped at the playground beside the pool to let the kids play and within about 15-20 minutes someone started a commotion. I picked up Avery and looked over to the pool to see a man (later discovered to be the boy’s father) pulling a tiny, limp body out of the water and yelling “OH MY GOD!! HE’S GONE!! HE’S GONE!! I CAN’T LOSE ANOTHER ONE!!” and a woman (later discovered to be the boy’s mother) screaming. Cole stayed with me while Nathan and Maggie ran to the pool. Damien was on rollerblades and could barely walk on the grass and the two of us just stood there with the kids. They put him on a chiase lounge on his stomach and I yelled at them to turn him onto his back. Maggie got to them and asked what his name was. They told her that his name was Johnathan. She called to him to wake up and checked him for a pulse, which she found - but weakly. We were yelling for anyone with a cellphone to call 911, and within seconds I saw something that made me furious - the others who were with them started frantically running around throwing away beer bottles. It was obvious then that this baby boy’s parents were crocked out of their heads. Johnathan’s father was pounding on his tiny chest, which Maggie told him to stop as his heart was beating and that would only do more damage. She started CPR and was talking to him to wake up and breathe. After a minute or two, he took a shallow breath and they turned him on his side to let him cough up the water in his lungs. He did bring a little up, but then stopped breathing and closed his eyes and went blue again. Maggie was amazing - she kept calm, even as Johnathan bit the inside of her lip and caused her to bleed profusely - and was determined that this child was going to live - and she brought him back.

The EMS units finally arrived after what seemed like an hour but was really only a matter of minutes. They took him to the hospital with his mother in the front of the ambulance. Maggie followed them with his father in Damien’s truck. Nathan took Damien & I to the hospital to wait with Maggie on some news. We walked into the ER and she was standing there completely still, looking blankly and sucking on her lip where he had bitten it. I went straight for her to hold her, and told her that she did good and was amazing. As soon as she saw me the tears started and I stood there just holding her and letting the her cry. She told us that on the drive over, Bruce (the father) was telling her that he had already lost one son. Apparently someone who was geeked up on coke ran him over and killed him. He was fourteen years old.

After a while they called us to the family waiting room where his mother was, they wouldn’t let her in the ER because she was too hysterical so the father went in because comparatively he was perfectly calm, though I know it was really shock. While we were in the waiting room with her, just her, Maggie, Damien, and myself, I could smell the alcohol on her breath from eight feet away and I was fuming inside, just absolutely livid. She talked about being there a year earlier with her daughter who had been scalded with boiling water and about her older son Dylan who was also swimming at the pool. A doctor came in a little while later, after two more family members came and told us that he was being stepped down from trauma and moved upstairs to pediatric ICU, where he would be kept overnight for observation. We went upstairs with them and I gave the father out phone numbers so they could get in touch with us and keep us up to date on his condition - they all hugged and thanked Maggie and we came home.

We got home about 9:45 last night and were informed t
hat Johnathan’s older brother Dylan is one of Cole’s classmates. Small world, huh? About an hour later a family member from the hospital called - Little Johnathan was sitting up in his bed beside her watching cartoons and feeling fine.

Today I feel very strange. I’m tired from lack of sleep, and my sinuses are raw. I’m very proud of Maggie. She said she felt proud of herself too, and that she was grateful things turned out like they did because if she didn’t save him, she would always feel like there was something she did wrong or didn’t do enough. Luckily though she was perfect, as she is to me in every way. I didn’t know I could love her more than I already did.

First thing’s first… I know this is belated, but better late than never, so:

Hoang!
[]

There, I feel better.

I’ve been spending a few days alone mostly, as the ‘mates have all been away and I’ve been taking a break from my reality of the day in day out thing - which has been blissful for the most part. The only real downers were the chest pains I got yesterday in my right lung (the good one) that came out of nowhere. My surgeon said sooner or later it might start behaving badly from scar tissue, I guess it just wanted me to take notice. That an the awful evil, horrible dream I had this afternoon while napping on the couch that made me so upset I cried from 20 minutes after waking up and another 5 minutes explaining it to Maggie this evening. I started getting teary before I even explained it to her. Oh well.

I’ve added several things to my web page, so if you are so inclined then by all means take a peek. I’m also in the process of redesigning the layout of the entire site, complete with three brand new pages and some downloadable freebies (fonts, PhotoShop brushes, etc.) and other fun stuff related to Judeism… ::snicker::

I’ve hit the proverbial PS7 snag, and am getting nowhere fast with one particular feature, so I emailed the guy who wrote the book I’m reading and asked for help. Hopefully he’ll have answers for me soon or I’ll just sort it out myself. All in all, I’m happy with the things I have made - just have to get it all in order and uploaded. I’m not looking foreward to the frustration of the HTML roadblocks I hit now and then when coding these pages, but I suppose you never learn anything worthwhile easily. Or is it that you’re supposed to be easy while being worth learning… fuck, now I’m all crosseyed…

Good night, folks - the sandman is here to make me sleep.

Miami agency cuts funding for Boy Scouts

::dances a jig::

Thanks to for this perk!

Also, I read this and have been screaming laughing for like 10 minutes now easily:

User: (604119)
Name: Pass My Law Or I Will Go Norma Rae On Your Ass
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Birthdate: 01-22
Email: pharm1215@aol.com

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Bio: I like to think of myself as an easy going open minded person.

In not funny at all news, Actor Robert Stack Dies at 84…